Lazy No More?

With my tendency to put things off and procrastinate, it should surprise no one that I was dragging my feet when it came to picking a date for the wedding.  My only reservation had to do with money, not the actual act of getting married.  But, my partner knows me, and he kept bringing up the issue in a gentle but clear way. So, we set a date and secured a venue.  We chose May 30, 2015.  Our ceremony and reception will be held at the site of our first date, a funky cafe and antique gallery.  We're both really excited.

At this point I realize that was the easiest step to make.  Now we have to complete all of those little steps that include invitations, flowers, clothes, blah, blah, blah.  Help!

Let's Be Honest...Do I Even Look Like A Girl Who Can Wear A Dress?

I recently visited my family in Michigan and tried on my mom's wedding dress.  My mom and I have similar body types so I assumed that the dress would slip right on.  I was wrong!  My poor mother helped me step into the dress she wore 45 years ago and she could barely zip up the back.  My sassy, adorable mom was so tiny when she got married.  She still looks good today...but I had no idea how hot she was in 1969.

Above all, when I look at my mom in photos from decades ago or pictures taken only hours before, it's her eyes that I love.  Her hazel tinted eyes reveal her true feelings or honest reaction to a story.  There is no way that my mom can hide how she feels when she is around others.  If you know her well, you know what she is thinking.

As my mom pulled the fabric, looking for a little extra give, I wanted to turn around and study her face.  Here was her youngest daughter, wearing her wedding gown.  And, while I may have been a little tipsy from a couple Bell's beers, I still knew at the moment how special it was.

So, the dress hunt will continue.  I plan on using my mom's dress in some form but it may look completely different than the dress she wore.  Either way, wearing something made out of the gown my mom wore seems pretty kick ass.  Any ideas or suggestions are welcomed.  I am clueless when it comes to dresses...as you can see.

Little Poem for My Future Husband

With all that we lack
there is abundance in
a thank you dinner
a gift of wine
and fresh spinach in a ceramic bowl.

The Dress: Part 2

As a kid, I remember looking through my parents' wedding album and thinking how beautiful my mom looked in her gown and how handsome my dad looked in his suit.  My parents were married in 1969 and the clothes they wore at their wedding are currently in style and, in a good way, vintage inspired.  With my lack of stamina for shopping showcased in the previous post, I thought it would be fun if I tried on my mom's wedding dress to see if it would fit. 

My parents are into texting, we text more than we actually talk on the phone nowadays, so I recently sent my mom a text asking if I could try on her gown.  "Absolutely," she replied.  With the added, "I had to have the top let out a bit for my, you know, larger boobs, so I think it might work for you, sweetie."

A couple minutes later I found an e-mail from my dad with two photos of my mom on the day of their wedding.  A third photo was included of my mom sitting in the car holding a rose between her teeth, a reminder that even though my parents have had their marital troubles, my dad still really loves her.
I looked at the photos of my mom, she was only twenty-one when she married my dad, and I couldn't get over how youthful and happy she looked.

As a teenager, I wanted to be the opposite of all that my parents stood for and I fought them on everything.  I thought they were doing it all wrong and that when I grew up, I would do everything right.  I chose less than stellar guys to date, I hurled hurtful remarks at them, I screamed, I cried, I shut them out.  I had lost sight of the love they had for me, the love they had for each other and the rest of my family.  Now, at thirty-five, I can see my parents for who they really are; two people who love their kids more than anything, two people who did the very best they could.  Now, I want to do the same with my life.  I want to do the best I can for my future marriage and my future family.

Now, it only seems right to wear my mom's gown.  In a couple weeks I will make the trip home to see if me and my boobs fit into her wedding dress.  I will keep you posted!

The Dress: Part 1

A few weeks ago, I went with a good friend to look for my wedding dress.  We went to a funky boutique in Lawrenceville to see if I could find a colorful and fun dress.  I went through the racks, walked in circles, smelled candles, looked at price tags, felt overwhelmed by all the planning that would soon ensue for the event and I gave up.  This entire routine took less than 20 minutes to complete.  I’ve never been one to enjoy shopping and, in all honesty, I didn’t see anything that I loved. I may hate to shop but I want to love my wedding dress, I want it to fit my personality.  

I turned to my friend Lisa and said, “I think I’m good.  Want to go get a drink?”  Lisa, who wears adorable vintage outfits on a daily basis, was in her element and ready to help.  She suggested going to more shops and fully tackling the task.  But, I know Lisa really well, and I know that she loves margaritas just as much as I do, so I suggested instead that we cross the street and get a few pitchers of drinks.  Five minutes later, we were sitting at the neighborhood cantina enjoying our sangria and margaritas.  I felt like I had accomplished something, even if it was only a 20 minute shopping excursion, but at least it was something.

One of the Reasons Why I Said Yes

Sometimes Life is Beautiful

I have never said
that northwest Ohio
from the view of the turnpike
is cinematic.

Tonight,
as we drove from Detroit to Pittsburgh
the pink and orange sky
served as a backdrop
for the fifteen birds
flying in V formation.

I do not know
what type of birds they were
or how far south
they were headed.

To you,
they were a reminder.

From the passenger seat,
you looked at me and said:
Sometimes, life is really beautiful.

I answered,
as I turned on to the highway,
Yes.  Yes it is.

How It All Went Down

On March 16, 2014, the day after my parents' 45th wedding anniversary, my partner asked me to marry him.  As I opened the fridge in my parents' kitchen, I noticed a clear box that held a bride and groom origami.  The box was covered in flowers and there was a gift inside the clear container.  I had no idea what I was looking at.  My partner and I had talked about getting married quite frequently and neither one of us had any doubt that it would happen.  We chose what type of ring we wanted and the gem.  We settled on a very simple band for the ring and chose a man-made diamond for the center.  There it was, in front of me, the ring and the funky presentation of it all.  I still had no clue what was going on until my partner got down on one knee.  At that point I just started laughing and crying.  Neither one of us is traditional so I couldn't figure out why he was on one knee.

The fact that we were surrounded by family and that the proposal took place in my parents' kitchen seemed absolutely perfect.  This was the same kitchen where I would lie on the floor, moaning about how "sick" I was, in the hopes of being able to skip church.  The same kitchen where I would throw myself on the ground and pretend to be a sizzling piece of bacon.  The same kitchen where so many arguments, conversations, holidays and moments of life occurred.  So much life took place in that one tiny room.

It's true that I was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans and had no make-up on that day.  It's also true that I was hungover from  the night before and barely awake.  But when I flip through the photo album of our engagement that my dad made for us, I couldn't be more convinced that everything unfolded the way it was supposed to.

Now, the actual planning of the wedding? That's another story.

Introducing Lazy Bride

In junior high, I was in love with the idea of dramatic love.  I was a quirky kid who read books about the disappearance of the rainforest and became anxious about the dying Amazonian frogs.  I listened to the Indigo Girls, Bruce Hornsby and the Range, and Tracy Chapman.  I fell for songs about lost love, unrequited love, gut wrenching love.  While I loved love in my teenage years, I never dreamt about my wedding or whom I would marry.  Those thoughts seemed out of my range and even too traditional.  I was going to become a writer and writers, good writers, don’t marry!

So, what happens when that quirky, asthmatic kid falls in love with another quirky kid who used to collect Garbage Pail Kids?  They decide to get married and take on the task of planning a wedding for under $10,000.  Throw into the mix that my fiancé and I are not big picture people, we do not organize life in a clear or even logical manner.  It often takes us thirty minutes to decide where to go to dinner.  It should be noted that we usually end up at the first place one of us suggested hangry and bitter towards one another.  However, the biggest challenge here is to not spend the money allocated for alcohol before any of the wedding festivities begin.

And so it begins…